Waiting...

Since I rededicated my life to Christ I've struggled with this term. Especially, because I hear it more often than not. What does "waiting" mean?

Everyone can come up with a different definition, applicable to them and their situation.

It's really bigger than that.

Today I finally realized that truth. Each and every time I've grown tired of waiting [for a spouse, a better job, a better relationship with my mother, etc.] it's been because I tried to set my own timeline, my own standards of what "better" is, rather than fully trusting Him; rather than truly waiting and being still.

Waiting is really harder than Christian's make it seem; i've been "single" for over 9 years, "waiting" for the right one. But during those 9 years I was never truly still. I was never truly "waiting." I took it upon myself to date whom I wanted; wanting, hoping, they might be the one. While I waited, "patiently" I allowed myself to grow weary, to feel lonely and seek the company of men that God never indicated were for me. I allowed it because I didn't [don't] fully trust God. I allowed it because I wanted attention, affection, joy, etc.

I've waited for an apology from my mother, my entire life, why? I have no idea. I've waited for our relationship to get better, I've prayed, asked God to changer her, to change me, to change us; and while we are a work in progress, our relationship is not where I want it to be and I find myself still waiting.

This [long] season has definitely been filled with waiting, waiting for the exact things I listed above as reference. However, I urge you to STOP waiting. I believe that waiting may only bring hopelessness. Instead focus on your current situation. Live in the now.

I realize this might sound corny or redundant to some of you but remember that God calls us to "be STILL and know that He is God." I'm convinced that this is impossible if while we're being still we are also setting our own worldly expectations, of who, what, when, where and how God is going to provide the things we are so eagerly "waiting" for. I understand that we live in a world where they've convinced us to set goals and have expectations, they've also convinced us that we must be realistic. The reality is that our God is greater; greater than your expectations, greater than their expectations, greater than everything.

Sis, God's got your EVERY wish and desire in His hands [so long as they coincide with His plan for you] and He's going to release them to you when you're ready to receive them; but in order to be ready you have to be hidden in Him.

Be SO hidden in Him, that you exude the term "Christ-Like" in every way. I think if you look closely at Jesus' life you'll notice that He didn't wait to die, even though He knew it was coming.  He lived in the present, focused on what was given to Him in that moment. We must live like He lived. He wasn't worried about where His next meal was coming from, whether He'd be rich, or marry. If those things came, great and if they didn't, great. He lived every day, FOR HIS FATHER, doing the will of His father; and most importantly for US. Such selfless love.

I write this because waiting is obviously something that we will all struggle with, myself included. You are not alone.

Grace and peace, fam.

Melizza